


You hold me as I hurt

by TheLionGirl (KissMySelfie)



Series: AC Week 2020 [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AgentCorp Week, AgentCorp Week 2020, Day 5, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, brief appearance by Kara, hinted homophobia, there's also rugby bc I'M in love with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24336907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissMySelfie/pseuds/TheLionGirl
Summary: “You can’t be that oblivious, Kara. She’s aced her sociology exams, and she still came for you asking for ‘help’.”Whatever Kara’s next excuse was going to be, it was interrupted by Alex’s phone ringing. The older Danvers’ smile left little doubt of who it was.“This could be you and Lucy, but someone is oblivious,” Alex said with a grin before answering her phone. “Hey, Lee.”“Al… Could you come and get me?” Lena's voice shook.Any trace of a smile was gone from Alex’s face. She was already up. “I’m on my way. Where are you?”
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: AC Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681270
Comments: 11
Kudos: 162





	You hold me as I hurt

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks for my friend Cap, who gave me this prompt when I couldn't think of anything. I looooved it. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

_Let it hurt_

_Then let it go_

-r.h. Sin

* * *

Alex barely managed to dodge out of the way of the pillow thrown by Kara. Alex laughed while Kara was pouting.

"I'm not a disaster at flirting!" Kara affirmed again. "And as if you were the one to talk. It took ages for you to say something to Lena."

“That was completely different.” Alex put her beer to the side. “Lucy literally appeared half-naked to answer the door for you for no good reason. She’s practically asking you to jump on her," Alex said. "But if you do jump on her, remember asking for consent first. “

“There are several reasons why she was… not completely dressed. She could’ve just gone out of the shower, or just finished working out, or she’s just comfortable around other girls…”

“You can’t be that oblivious, Kara. She’s aced her sociology exams, and she still came for you asking for ‘help’.”

Whatever Kara’s next excuse was going to be, it was interrupted by Alex’s phone ringing. The older Danvers’ smile left little doubt of who it was.

“This could be you and Lucy, but someone is oblivious,” Alex said with a grin before answering her phone. “Hey, Lee.”

“Al… Could you come and get me?” Lena's voice shook.

Any trace of a smile was gone from Alex’s face. She was already up. “I’m on my way. Where are you?”

“My dorm.”

“Okay. I’m getting my bike.” She was glad she barely sipped her beer.

Kara looked at her worried. Alex muted her phone before talking to Kara.

“I think something happened. Sorry, but I have to go. Raincheck?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. Go.” Kara practically pushed Alex out of the door. “Call me when you can.”

Alex ran past the long dorm halls, almost destroying a science project of a girl with a pixie haircut. She murmured an apology but didn’t stop while they cursed her.

Her bike was tied to the fence. She threw the chain in her backpack and started pedaling, dodging students and asking for people to move out of the way. She hoped for the best as she rode down a set of stairs, finally making it to the road. There she had to worry about cars and bikes hitting her instead of not hitting people.

She was sure she’d feel this ride on her legs the next day.

Alex knew the way to Lena’s dorm by heart now. Lena’s university wasn’t that far from National City College. On a normal day, it would be a twenty-five minutes bike ride. After one year of coming and going, Alex knew all the best shortcuts and traffic hours.

The sign turned red, and Alex barely hit the breaks on time. She wanted to call Lena to tell her she was almost there, at the same time she knew she’d only lose more time. She was heaving, and she was sweaty. When the sign turned green, she started pedaling as if she just started.

Arriving in front of Lena’s dorm, Alex couldn’t care less about her bike, letting it fall on the floor, and she raced towards Lena’s room.

“Lee,” Alex called once she reached her room’s door. She took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s me.”

The door wasn’t fully open when Lena attached herself to Alex. Alex gripped onto Lena, pressing her tighter against herself, partially to maintain her balance, but mostly to make sure Lena was alright.

“Hey. It’s okay. I’m here.” Alex ran her fingers through Lena’s hair. She felt Lena’s hold softening, and she made use of that moment to pull away just enough to see Lena’s face. Her red eyes left little doubt of how bad it was. “Let’s go inside.”

Alex led them inside, gripping one of Lena’s hands. Lena was using her other hand to rub her eye. Alex sat down on the bed, but she didn’t expect Lena to climb on her lap and let all of her weight rest on Alex. She used her hands not to fall backward and hit the wall. With some maneuvering, she managed to lower them both to a lying position with her head on the pillow. Lena apparently decided that Alex’s body was her mattress for now.

They didn’t talk for several minutes. Alex kept running her fingers through Lena’s hair, only stopping to rub small circles on the low of her backs.

It was Lena who broke the silence. “Thank you for coming.”

“Always.”

“Sorry I ruined sisters’ night.”

“Don’t be. It doesn’t matter.” Too much was hidden in the silence between their words. Maybe not hidden. They knew the implications that lived there. "This is more important." Alex tugged the hem of Lena’s shirt. “You know, I don’t think I wore that shirt since the day I met you.”

Lena looked up at Alex’s eyes. “It’s why it’s my favorite shirt.”

It wasn’t a special shirt, but it was special to Alex. It was a white shirt with a rainbow line in it. 

* * *

_Alex met Lena over a year before. She was at Lena’s college for one of Kara’s game._

_For such a sweet girl, Kara was a beast playing Rugby. And being the supportive old sister she was, Alex went to all the games (if she didn’t, Kara would whine about it for ages). (At that point Alex was familiar with Kara’s team - too familiar with some of them)._

_They were on halftime, and Alex noticed a girl with an open book on her lap oblivious to everything that was happening around her. As someone who was missing her books as well, Alex slipped to her seat and next to her._

_“There are better places to study, you know?” Alex said. The girl took a few seconds to notice that the question was directed at her and looked at Alex with a frown. Alex found the girl way too cute._

_“I know,” the girl said. “But my friend is playing, and I promised I’d be here. Sports are not my thing.”_

_“What is?”_

_“Science,” she said showing Alex the book she was reading. Alex opened a smile. She was a nerd, although her protests that she wasn’t._

_Alex stopped watching the game, only every now and then turning to see Kara tackling someone who would wake up sore the next day. Mostly she was distracted talking to the girl (Lena) who had put her book aside at some point in the conversation._

_Eventually, the judge whistled indicating the end of the game, and Alex knew they were running out of time._

_“I like your shirt,” Lena said._

_“Thanks, it was a coming-out gift from my sister.” She’d rather make it more obvious to Lena that those last 40 minutes weren’t only of friendly conversation._

_(When she was sixteen and she told Kara that she might like girls, the blonde had gone stiff and confused. It was more than enough to make Alex shut down thinking that Kara wouldn’t accept her. She didn’t expect the next day for Kara to show up with a badly wrapped box with this shirt in it._

_“You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want, or if you aren’t ready yet. I love you as you are, and if liking girls is part of you are, I love it too.” Kara ranted, before being interrupted by Alex’s hug.)_

_“It’s a shame you have to go.”_

_“We could always run into each other. National City is not that big. What would be the odds of us running into each other at Noonan’s tomorrow at 1?”_

* * *

Lena fell asleep on top of Alex, and Alex took the opportunity to call Kara. Everything wasn’t okay, but physically they were. She told Kara that.

Alex managed to get Lena lying on the bed, instead of on top of her so she could get them some blankets, water, and some snacks from the vending machine a few rooms away. When she set it all up at arms reach, she slipped beside Lena, hugging her by the waist.

It made Lena stir, turning in her arms to face her.

“You always take care of me,” Lena said sleepily.

“Of course, I do. I love you. And besides, you take care of me too. Who else endured me during my finals last year?”

Lena gave a weak laugh.

“Lex came to see me.” This time when Lena spoke her voice was much clearer. Alex tensed next to Lena.

She had met the man a single time, and it was not a good experience.

Alex took a deep breath not to say something yet. Her feelings about Lex Luthor were weird. Something in her despised him (for several good reasons), and yet Lena loved him, idolized him. How could she fully hate someone who meant so much to Lena?

Alex didn’t understand, but she didn’t have to. He was Lena’s brother, and Alex knew how much admiration could be in that relationship. She wouldn’t get in the way of that, just like she wouldn’t like if someone got in the way of hers and Kara’s relationship.

Because of that, Alex learned to nod and smile as Lena talked about Lex. Usually with admiration and love.

Unlike Lena was saying his name now. 

“You can tell me when you are ready.” Lena’s eyes were filling up with tears again. That was exactly what Alex was trying to avoid.

“I was talking to him about how we were thinking about looking for someplace to rent together after college. And he-“ Lena pressed her eyes together and her face into Alex’s chest, sobbing into it. It was unlike Lena to be like that. Alex focused on giving Lena comfort and warmth, she could deal with the rising rage in her chest later. “He told me to stop being _stupid_. That this is just a phase, and that I should just be done with it not to shame our family further.”

Alex swallowed.

“I’m sorry.”

“He was so… cold, Alex. He never spoke to me like that. And I didn’t know what to say; I was just so surprised and sad. He sounded exactly like mother. I don’t understand. He is not homophobic, I know my brother, Alex. He doesn’t care about this kind of stuff.”

Alex could agree with that. Lex Luthor didn’t care about other people's orientation as long as he could use them and manipulate them as he pleased. And to be able to do that, he needed to have a good strong image, and in his head, that image didn’t include a _queer_ sister. Alex didn’t need him to tell her that. That was crystal clear by how he canceled any public lunches with Alex and Lena, and how suddenly Lena didn’t have a right to plus ones in the events the Luthors were invited.

She didn’t mind that. The only thing Alex cared about was Lena. If the price of being with Lena was putting up with her family, Alex would gladly pay it. But Alex wasn’t going to put up with her said family hurting Lena.

“I don’t understand,” Lena repeated. Alex pressed her closer.

“It’s okay. Maybe he just had a bad day.”

Alex hates the taste of that lie in her mouth, but she’ll taste it a hundred times if that meant she’d take part of Lena’s pain.

The pain of disappointment was one of the worse Alex knew. A brief flash of Jeremiah leaving came to Alex’s mind and the sound the door made when Eliza closed it shut as soon as he stepped out of it.

“Do you want to talk more about it, or do you want me to distract you from it?” Alex repeated the words her mother said to her. 

“Star Wars?” Lena looked up at her hopefully.

Alex smiled. Lena untangled from her just enough so Alex could get Lena’s computer. Thank god for pirated movies. Alex left it on her lap until her leg started going numb and Lena took it over. She distractedly ran her fingers through Lena’s her thinking about what she could do. Nothing came to mind and that frustrated her. She was a fixer by nature.

She could talk to Lex. It sounded like a bad idea, but it was the only idea she had.

Lena stole her away from her thoughts with a kiss on her cheek.

It was a long and soft kiss followed by Lena’s voice.

“I love you, Al, and maybe that’s all I need.”

Alex nodded. “I love you, Lee. I wish I could take all your pain away.”

“You hold me as I hurt. I can’t ask you for anything more than that.”


End file.
